There’s plenty in modern society that, quite frankly, makes me sick. But amongst the top ten things about our current state affairs that really turns my stomach is the mangling of the female form through plastic surgery.

   I understand that plastic surgery can be a very noble thing, for instance, restructuring someone’s badly mutilated face so they can actually breath through their nose properly. Yet, plastic surgery is used mostly in the vain attempt to make one self “beautiful”. The whole idea is preposterous… if we are to believe that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, then all things are beautiful, given that you are looking at it from the right perspective. Meaning, that one person may seem hideous to Joe Blow, but to John Q Public, that same person may seem as the most gorgeous thing he has ever laid his eyes upon. However, more often than not, the person in question will usually see his/herself from the perspective of Joe Blow, and “needs” plastic surgery to “correct” the “problem”.

   Usually this situation is the concern of other people, and I would ignore it. However, today, the plastic surgery aesthetic is virtually everywhere. The amount of silicone that’s pumped into a group of randomly chosen women could build several micro-processors for today’s super computers. And sometimes these women have their implants before they’re even out of high-school. How on earth anyone finds those massive, disproportionably shaped tits appealing is beyond me.

   But it doesn’t end there, oh no. The nose isn’t good enough, so the cartilage needs to be shaven down, and the excess skin removed… the lips are too thin, so a nice big shot of collagen will give them the fullness that’s needed. Too lazy to trim off all that fat? No problem! We’ll do it for you, with our state-of-the-art technology that blasts the fat cells to oblivion with ultra-high-frequency sound, and then sucks out with a plastic tube (which would make it the perfect consistency to make soap, but it seems Chuck Palahniuk’s view is lost on the medical community). I could go on with the different horrors that these women (and men) put themselves through to reach that idyllic “beauty” that’s waiting to be unlocked from their ugly prisons, but I’d rather not waste time with such tripe.

   I always thought that Frankenstein’s monster was considered an abomination not for the fact that it was resurrected from the dead, but rather that it was an amalgamation of different parts which were put together not by nature nor by god, but by a man. A demented man, but a man none the less. This analogy will be lost on those whom put themselves through these painful procedures, but I will always see them as they are: Frankenstein’s monsters. A nose from there, a couple of eyes from here, perfect hair from the perfect head, massive breasts, and the longest penis that money can buy.

            Why do they do this? You can argue that they do it because they have low self-esteems, and will never be complete until they do this or that to their bodies… I’m positive that they see it like that with all the conviction in their hearts, but… no matter how much you change the person on the outside with plastic surgery, over-dieting and chemical enhancements, you can never change this one simple fact; that they hate themselves. They hate themselves with such ferocity, that they’d be willing to have another mutilate their body to the point where they no longer recognize themselves… which is exactly why they do it. If you hate yourself, then make yourself into someone different. Unfortunately, you will never escape the fact that you are you and you hate yourself. So instead of spending all that money on destroying the body that you’ve been given, why not get therapy and begin the journey of accepting yourself. Certainly, if you have enough money for fake tits, you must have enough money to see a shrink.